Rules

This is a joke. A real, funny, public joke. The author has no children yet and is anxious about it, so he decided to crowdsource the baby name to companies willing to pay for the privilege. Whoever holds first place when the baby is born gets the naming "honor."

Paying does not legally bind the author to use your company name. There is no contract. The baby may end up named something entirely different. The author's partner also has opinions.

1. Enter your product URL and choose a display name — this is what would appear as the "baby name."
2. Choose an amount (minimum $1). Every dollar counts toward your rank.
3. Pay via Stripe. Your listing goes live immediately after payment confirms.
4. Anyone can outbid you at any time by paying more in total. There is no auction end date — ranking is live and continuous.
5. If you pay again with the same domain, your amounts are combined.

• A public listing on the leaderboard with your product URL, display name, and rank
• The fun of telling people you tried to name someone's baby
• If you hold #1 at the time of birth — a story to tell at your next company all-hands

• Any legally enforceable naming rights
• A refund if someone outbids you
• Any guarantee that a baby will exist or be born during your reign at #1

The author reserves the right to remove any listing that is offensive, defamatory, illegal, or just in poor taste. Use your judgment.

Ask on @sergeynazarovx.